


Conman/Kleinphy Angst One-Shots

by Sollux_Kleinman



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Cheating, Crying, Domestic Violence, Face Punching, Fake ID's, Fluff and Angst, Gay Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Hanahaki Disease, Hitchhiking, Illnesses, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Non-Consensual Touching, Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, Stranded, Strangers, Swearing, Terminal Illnesses, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Love, War, Yelling, conman, domestic abuse, hanahaki, kleinphy, pansexual jared kleinman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-03-24 19:01:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 7,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13817469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sollux_Kleinman/pseuds/Sollux_Kleinman
Summary: WARNING: This story contains blood and Hanahaki disease, which is a fictional disease that stems from unrequited love. Mainly the victim coughes up flowers. If left too long, The disease often results in death.





	1. The Bar

"Holy fuck, I can't believe we're actually in a gay bar." Jared's face lit up as he held Connor's hand. "How the hell did you get those?"

"I know a guy." Connor slipped the fake ID's back I his pocket, grinning at Jared.

"Is he cute?" Jared teased, leading Connor over to the bar. Around them, loud music blared through the speakers and people danced wildly. Connor rolled his eyes,

"No, not compared to you." Connor knew he was just feeding Jared's ego, but he didn't care. Connor ordered them both drinks, he made sure to get something pink and fruity.

"Here you go." Connor smirked, handing Jared his drink. "So everyone can know what a fucking twink you are." Jared happily sipped on it.

"Dick." Is all Jared replied with. Connor chuckled and threw his arm around Jared's waist. Connor quickly downed his drink,

"I'm gonna go piss." He told Jared, leaving him alone at the bar. Jared swung his legs on the chair, determined to finish his drink before Connor got back so they could dance. Jared shivered as he suddenly felt a hand run up his back and ruffle his hair. Jared rolled his eyes, Connor loved startling him.

"Connor-" Jared turned around expecting his boyfriend to be grinning back at him but instead was met by the gaze of a stranger. Jared blinked for a second, surprised.

"You're a cutie." The stranger grinned, his hand reaching out and firmly grabbing Jared's jaw. The man was quite a bit larger than Jared, so when he tried to yank his head from the his grasp, the man only held on tighter, bruising Jared's jaw.

"I have a boyfriend." Tears began to form in Jared's eyes as he continued trying to squirm away.

"He must be very lucky." The man chuckled, leaning down so he was face to face with Jared. Jared could feel the man's hot, disgusting breath on his cheek.

"Yeah, and he's gonna be super pissed when he comes back-" The man took this opportunity to shove his tongue down Jared's throat. Just as soon as it happened, it was over. Jared felt the man loosen his grip on him and stumble away.

Jared blinked his eyes open to see a very pissed off Connor, as he predicted. Jared put two and two together and figured Connor must've hit the man, who had regained his balance. Connor didn't waste a second in throwing another punch, this one sending the man to the floor with a bloody nose. People around them stared.

"Jared, are you okay?" Connor breathed, pacing over to him. Jared nodded, throwing his arms around Connor and beginning to cry softly into his shoulder.

"Let's go home." Connor told him, lifting him up. Jared let himself be carried out of the bar and to Connor's car, where he was set in the passenger seat. Connor climbed into the driver's seat and took a second to stare at Jared.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly.

"What are you sorry for?" Jared sniffed, wiping away the tears Connor's sweatshirt didn't absorb.

"Leaving." Connor frowned. Jared let out a small laugh.

"It's not your fault Connor, I promise." Jared leaned over and pressed a kiss to Connor's lips.

"I love you." Connor sighed.

"I love you too."


	2. Where are you going?

"Where do you think you're going dressed like that?" Connor asked, spotting Jared out of the corner of his eye. "Those shorts are way too small." Jared turned to him, nervously fiddling with his shorts.

"It's hot out today, I just figured-" Jared began.

"Go get changed." Connor ordered, crossing his arms. "Where were you going?"

"I was just going to go out for a walk." Jared lied, eyes trained on the ground.

"You're lying to me again." Connor paced over to Jared, gripping his arm. Jared gave a small yelp, tears beginning to form in his eyes.

"I just wanted to go see some friends." Jared said in a small voice, not making eye contact with Connor. "I swear, it's nothing-"

"Nothing?" Connor's voice grew angrier as he squeezed Jared's wrist tighter. "I told you I don't want to see you around them anymore."

"I'm sorry!" Tears spilled down Jared's face. "I can do better, I will be better for you!" Connor began to drag Jared upstairs by his wrist, Jared stumbled along, his vision blurred from the tears. Connor threw Jared into his bedroom, he hit the floor with a loud thud.

"I'm locking you in here until you learn." Connor growled, glaring down at Jared before slamming the door shut. The door locked with a click. Jared slowly sat up, the tears momentarily ceasing. He rubbed the arm he landed on, looking around the room. He tenderly pulled himself into the standing position, staring at the door for a minute before grabbing his hair, sobbing.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I was bad." Jared wept, biting his lip so hard it bled. "I'll be good next time."


	3. First Fight

"What the fuck, Connor!" Jared pulled his hair, pacing back and forth across Connor's bedroom. "You fucking stole my summer job money to buy weed?" Connor's face was buried in his hands, ashamed.

"I'm so so sorry, Jared." He croaked, stealing a painful glance up at Jared. He hated seeing his boyfriend so upset. "I have a problem-"

"Damn right you do!" Jared yelled, tears forming. "I worked all summer for that money, and you blew it!"

"I know, I know-"

"No, you don't know, because if you did know, we wouldn't be in this situation!" Jared grabbed his bag. "I just need to go." Connor felt absolutely disgusted with himself, Jared couldn't even stand to be around him. Connor watched silently as Jared slammed the door as he left, leaving Connor alone.

Connor slowly reached over and grabbed a cigarette from his drawer, shakily lighting it with a bright red lighter he had specifically chosen because it was Jared's favorite color.

Inhaling, he laid back on his bed, mindlessly staring at the ceiling. He wished he could take it back, the minute he spent Jared's money he wished he could take it back. Now, Jared probably hates him. The only relationship he's ever had and he already ruined it after six months.

Connor finished the cigarette and put it out on his headboard, he didn't care how much it had cost, his mind was still on Jared. He wished he could hold Jared again, and have Jared tell him it was okay, just like he always did when Connor messed up. But he had seriously fucked it up this time, he didn't know if Jared would forgive him.

When Connor tried to pull his blankets over himself, his hand grabbed fabric that was not thick enough enough to be his blanket. Bringing it closer, Connor realized it was one of Jared's shirts, he must have left it behind the last time he stayed the night. Tears formed at the corners of his eyes as he brought the shirt to his face to smell it. Doritos, lavender, Pepsi, and Axe, just like Jared. It was an odd combination, but it suit him well.

Connor sighed, closing his eyes and imagining his Jared was sleeping beside him again. He fell asleep clinging to Jared's shirt.


	4. Stranded

"What do you mean it's broken?" Jared demanded, hopping out of the truck.

"I dunno, looks pretty broken to me." Connor shrugged, gesturing towards the smoking engine of the car.

"Don't you know what's wrong with it?" Jared asked, huddling close to Connor for warmth.

"Do I look like a car person to you?" Connor huffed, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "All I know is that it's smoking and it's not starting, sounds pretty fucking broken to me."

Great, their car was broken, it was dark out, and they didn't know where they were.

"Check to see if you have service again." Connor sighed. Jared slid his cellphone out of his pocket.

"Still no service." Jared frowned, putting his phone away.

"Well, it looks like I'll have to walk to the nearest house and ask to use the phone." Connor groaned, shutting the hood of the car.

"Let's go." Jared moved to grab Connor's coat from the car.

"Woah, someone needs to stay with the car." Connor stopped him.

"No way, that's how people get murdered!" Jared said, grabbing Connor's coat and pulling it on. "You're not leaving me here alone."

"Fine, I'll stay then." Connor rolled his eyes at Jared.

"Nope, we're sticking together." Jared insisted.

"Ugh, fine, whatever." Connor reached inside the truck to grab his jacket before realizing it wasn't there. "Wait, do you have my coat on?"

"It's cold and I forgot to bring mine." Jared blinked at him.

"God, you are such a hassle sometimes." Connor chuckled, a small smile forming on his face. He locked the car and grabbed Jared's hand. "Alright, I think there's a house a couple miles back."

After 30 minutes of walking, Jared wasn't sure if there even was a house. He was cold, hungry, tired, and a bit grumpy.

"Are we there yet?" Jared let out a frustrated sigh.

"What are you, three?" Connor chuckled, shaking from the cold. "Obviously not."

"Maybe we should just turn back-" Jared started.

"Look!" Connor's eyes lit up as he spotted a dim light in the distance. "Could that be a house?"

"No, it doesn't look like a house." Jared squinted, watching as the light came closer. "It's a car!" Jared squealed in excitement, hugging Connor.

"Guess we're gonna try hitch hiking." Connor stood near the edge of the road, watching the car get closer before sticking his thumb out. Car pulled over and came to a stop. The man inside rolled down the window.

"Can I help you boys?" He smiled. Connor strolled up to the window, noting the faint smell of weed in the car.

"Yeah, our car broke down a couple miles up. Would you be able to drive us to the nearest phone so we can call a tow truck?" Connor asked. Jared peeked his head from behind Connor, getting a glimpse of the man. He was fairly young, with dark brown hair and a worn leather jacket. However, most importantly, he looked stoned out of his mind.

"No problem, hop in." The man slurred. Jared tugged on Connor's sleeve, shaking his head.

"It's either this or walking some more." Connor hissed quietly to Jared, climbing into the front seat. Jared hesitated before getting into the back seat. His eyes instantly started watering as he stepped into the car. Sure, he had smelled weed before, he was dating Connor Murphy, but this felt suffocating. Jared covered his mouth with his hand, stifling a cough.

"So why're you boys out here?" The man asked lazily, not bothering to check for other cars as he pulled back onto the road.

"My parent's have a cabin up here." Connor shrugged. Jared could tell he was being careful with what he said. "They expected us an hour ago, they must be worried."

Well that was a lie, Connor's parents thought he was staying at Evan's for the weekend.

"That's too bad." The man smiled, that ended all conversation in car. After a couple more minutes of driving, the man took one hand from the steering wheel and set it on Connor's thigh, slowing moving upwards. Connor kept staring straight ahead as his breathing hitched, he was seemingly frozen.

Jared wasn't having any of this, no one was allowed to treat Connor like that. "Get the fuck off him!" Jared reached up and pulled the man's hand away from his boyfriend's junk. Connor blinked, coming back to reality.

"Pull over." Connor said evenly, glaring at the man.

"C'mon, I was just trying to get some compensation for giving you boys a ride." The man snickered, continuing to drive. Connor reached down and grabbed the hunting knife he always kept strapped to his ankle.

"Fucking let us out." Connor warned, voice low.

"Relax, relax, I was just joking with you." The man grumbled, pulling over. Jared and Connor climbed out and watched wearily as he drove away. Connor flung an arm around Jared.

"Shall we start walking?"


	5. Hanahaki!Jared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This story contains blood and Hanahaki disease, which is a fictional disease that stems from unrequited love. Mainly the victim coughes up flowers. If left too long, The disease often results in death.

He just had to make it to the bathroom.

He just had to make it to the bathroom.

He just had to make it-

He couldn't. Jared leaned over the side of the hallway trash can and coughed, feeling the petals and prickly thorns coming out of his throat.

His flowers were a sickening red of course. Why wouldn't they be the color of love?

Jared wiped the saliva from his chin and glanced around to make sure no one saw him. Besides the security camera, he thought he was all good. He wasn't too worried, the school never checks those anyway.

Jared slowly began to head back to class, his stomach still upset and threatening to make him sick again at any second. 

Pushing open the door to his history class, he was met with the stares of classmates. Although he knew they had no way of knowing what he had just done, it felt like they were judging him.

He slumped into his seat in the back of the classroom, right where he could see Connor Murphy.

Jared couldn't tell if he loved or hated Connor at this point. Sure, Connor was the reason he was throwing up flowers, but he was the reason he was throwing up flowers. 

Just watching him made Jared feel the slight tickle of leaves in his throat. 

Jared awkwardly coughed into his arm, earning some odd glances from his classmates. 

Ugh, the leaves were the worst. They stayed until he threw up again.

The bell rang and Jared gathered his things, heading out of the classroom when he felt a hand on his shoulder jerk him backwards.

Jared turned around to tell the person off when he was met with none other than the harsh stare of Connor Murphy.

"Oh, I-" Jared squeaked, his throat too clogged with flowers to speak.

"Here, I want to talk to you." Connor mumbled, taking a hold of Jared's wrist and leading him out of the classroom. Jared stumbled along behind him, desperately trying to keep up with Connor's wide strides.

Finally, Connor had lead him to a secluded part in the school library, the children's section. 

Why did they have a children's section in a high school library? It just seemed like a poor decision to Jared.

"Jared, do you have Hanahaki?" Connor demanded, staring intently at Jared.

Jared quickly swallowed the flowers that were wanting to come up and shook his head, "No way, what makes you think that?" 

"You left class awful quickly and you looked ill." Connor frowned, leaning against a bookshelf.

"Y'know, sometimes you just really gotta piss." Jared lied, feeling a thorn jab the inside of his throat. He winced and had a coughing fit.

"Really?" Connor raised an eyebrow.

"Just swallowed some spit." Jared coughed, clutching at his throat.

"Jared-" Connor began but he was cut off by the sight of dozens of flowers falling from Jared's open mouth to the floor. 

Connor noticed the roses weren't just red, but had blood dripping off of them. Glancing back up at Jared, Connor noticed that just as much blood as flowers were coming from Jared's mouth as he continued to cough.

After a minute, the flowers stopped and Jared was left on his knees dry-heaving.

"For who?" Connor asked, watching as Jared pulled one final leaf from his mouth.

"Nobody." Jared said firmly, trying to gather up his flowers so he could throw them away.

"Jared, you're going to kill yourself if you keep this up." Connor sighed, leaning down and helping him gather the flowers. "If you just told the person, they might feel the same. Even if they don't you can get the surgery and you'd feel better-"

"It's you!" Jared panted, more blood mixed with a couple thorns spilling out of his mouth as he spoke. It ran down his chin and stained his light green Minecraft shirt.

"Me?" Connor pulled back, the flowers falling back to the floor where Jared gently picked them up, handling them carefully.

Jared felt his throat tighten as a fresh wave of flowers tried to make their way up to his mouth. He didn't dare look at Connor, now he knew how the boy felt.

Just as the first petal touched his tongue, Jared felt the roses disappear. Confused, Jared grabbed at his throat and looked up at Connor, who was staring at him with frightened eyes.

"It's gone?" Jared said simply. It wasn't a question, yet it wasn't a statement either. It was just there, and it clung in the air as the two stared at each other silently for a couple of moments.

Connor bent down so he was eye level with Jared. "I dunno, let's see." He asked gently, leaning in and kissing Jared.

It was everything Jared had ever hoped it would be. Cupping Connor's face and pulling him closer, Jared felt better than he had in months. He pulled away for a second, staring into Connor's eyes.

"I love you." Jared said before feeling flowers crawl up his throat again.


	6. Early

    Connor arrived home early from work, tired and excited to curl up next to his boyfriend to take a nap. However, when he walked in, he didn't find Jared in the living room, where the boy was usually found playing video games. Nor did he find him in the kitchen, picking at the food they had in their fridge, which wasn't much, Connor needed to go grocery shopping. Finally, Connor headed upstairs, curious as to why when he got home he wasn't greeted with a happy boyfriend to give him kisses.

    As Connor got to the top step, he froze. 

    There were slurping noises coming from their room, along with happy humming coming from his boyfriend.

    Connor felt his blood boil. Here, he'd been working all day and he had to come home to this? Was he not enough for Jared? After all, he was only the person that was constantly by his side, taking care of him when he was sick and always staying faithful to him.

    Connor dropped his work bag and began cracking his knuckles, completely ready to beat up whatever guy Jared was with. No one touches his Jare-bear.

    He shoved open the door to their room, the door banged loudly as it hit the wall, startling Jared and making him turn around with wide eyes.

    "Con, you're home early-" He squeaked.

    Connor opened his mouth to yell, but the words caught in his throat as he realized there was no one else in the room. In Jared's lap was a bowl of ramen noodles, which he was scooping up with a spoon.

    Connor paused for a second and began to laugh, walking over to Jared and ruffling the boy's hair as he sat down on the bed next to him.

    "You scared me, baby." Connor mumbled as he tugged Jared close to him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

    "I scared you? You just barged in on me eating my noodles, I nearly choked." Jared chuckled, nuzzling close to Connor. 

    "I heard noises and I just assumed-" Connor sighed. "I'm sorry, I know it was irrational."

    "Yeah, yeah, now leave me to my noodles." Jared chuckled, slurping up more noodles. 

    "I'm gonna go put my bag away." Connor smiled, standing up. He blew a kiss at Jared as he left the room.

    "Is he gone?" Evan whispered from inside the closet.


	7. Come Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, I’ve been writing a lot of angst lately

  "Come out, come out wherever you are." 

    Jared's breathing picked up as he sunk down in his closet, trying to hide himself under a pile of clothes. 

    "Jared, do you hear that? It sounds like someone is hiding." Connor's footsteps sounded outside of Jared's room. "Are you hiding from me, Jared?"

    Jared shook just from the sound of Connor's voice, he tried to push himself back more, but was only met with the cold wall of the back of the closet.

    "Jared, I just want to speak with you." Connor cooed, but Jared could tell that hidden behind that sweet voice was burning rage.

    He heard the door jiggle, and it brought him relief that he had locked it. Connor couldn't get in just yet.

   "Jared, don't you want to speak with me?" Connor's voice was calm and even. "If you come out now I'll go easy on you, I swear."

    Jared's stomach twisted as he considered this. It would hurt a lot less and maybe this time he wouldn't have to wear makeup to hide a black eye.

    "I'm giving you until the count of ten, Jared." He could hear Connor's smirk.

    "One."

    Jared began to tremble as he bit his lip.

    "Two."

    Should he go out? It would make everything easier, and it would be over quicker

    "Three."

    Jared threw the pile of clothes off of himself.

    "Four."

    He slid open the closet door and peeked around the room.

    "Five." 

    Carefully, Jared stepped out of the closet, his heart pulsing.

    "Six."  
      
    He slowly made his way over to the door, eyes locked on the ground.

   "Seven."

   Staring at the doorknob, Jared stood there, unsure of what he should do.

   "Eight."

    He reached out a hand and took the knob in his grasp.

   "Nine."

   Jared's hand shook as his fingers reached at the lock.

   "Ten-" 

    Jared unlocked the door and opened it, looking up at Connor.

    "How can I help you, Connor?" Jared asked sweetly.


	8. Freak

 

    Jared liked a _boy_.

    Freak. 

That's what everyone would call him if they found out. 

Freak. Freak. Freak. Freak. Freak.

His parents. Evan. Connor. 

    _Connor_. 

Just watching him across the room made Jared tingle in ways he'd never known before. He was so beautiful, even when he was scribbling dicks onto the desk. 

"What the fuck are you looking at?" Connor demanded, clutching his pen tightly as he noticed Jared staring.

"Those are some fine dicks there." Jared tried to say teasingly, though inside he was panicking. Connor relaxed a bit, studying Jared. Jared sat up straight and hoped he looked somewhat presentable. 

"Why? You a boy-lover, Kleinman?" Connor chuckled. Jared felt his heart rate pick up, though he knew Connor was only joking. 

    "Says the one who was drawing the dicks." Jared shot back, flashing Connor a grin. 

    "Its a self portrait." Connor snorted. Jared blushed and turned his face to his desk, hoping Connor wouldn't see. 

    "Is that why it's so small?" Jared grinned, his face heating up even more. 

    "Shut up, Kleinman." Connor laughed and oh god, it was such a wonderful laugh. Jared could've melted right there. "Listen, I was gonna skip fourth hour anyways, but you wanna come with me?" 

    Jared blinked, stunned that Connor would invite him, "I'd love to!" 

   Oh god, was he too enthusiastic? 

    "Great, meet me by the bathrooms." Connor winked as the bell rang. Jared sat there, stunned for a second. Finally, he was forced to move by the girl who sat in his seat the next hour.

    All throughout third hour Jared was restless, constantly shifting and constantly checking the clock. Why was time moving so slowly? Didn't it know Jared had somewhere important to be?

    After what felt like a lifetime, the hour was over and Jared rushed to the bathrooms, getting there before Connor. He decided to use that time to fix his hair.

    The bell rang again, marking the start of class. Jared began to get uneasy, was Connor not coming?

    He paced the bathroom for a couple of minutes, getting himself worked up about it. Why would Connor just abandon him? Did he know that Jared liked boys? 

    Just as Jared's imagination was getting out of hand, Connor walked in.

    "What took you so long?" Jared asked, though honestly he didn't even know if he cared at this point. As long as Connor was there.

    "One of the hall monitors began to nag me about not having a hall pass, it was super annoying." Connor smiled. "Ready?"

    "Hell yeah."

    Connor lead Jared out to the parking lot and to a nice looking car at the far end of the lot. Jared whistled as he approached.

    "This yours?" Jared asked, hopping into the passenger seat as Connor jumped into the drivers seat. 

    "I guess, my mom bought it for me after I passed all my junior classes." Connor shrugged, pulling the car into drive. 

    Jared marveled at the car, "Wow, and it doesn't even make noises when it starts?"

   Connor raised an eyebrow, "What the fuck is wrong with your car?"

   "Nothing, it's just old." Jared told him, rolling down his window and sticking his head out of the car. "Where are we going?"

    "I dunno, I figured we'd just drive around for a bit." Connor suggested.

   So, that's what they did. They drove around town, not really going anywhere, until they got bored and grabbed McDonalds, parking in a secluded area so they could eat.

    "Why'd you invite me along?" Jared asked as he finished off his burger and began licking his fingers instead of using a napkin. 

    "Well, If you hadn't come along all I would've ended up doing is going home and smoking." Connor finished his food as well. 

    "Well, I'm glad you brought me along." Jared smiled. 

    "Me too." Connor nodded, giving him a side smirk. 

    Holy fuck, Jared couldn't contain it anymore. He leaned forward and cupped Connor's face, pressing their lips together. Connor froze, not moving for a second before he began to hesitantly kiss back. The two stayed like this for a second and Jared's confidence slowly began to build. 

    He was kissing Connor Murphy.

    Connor's hands slowly rose to rest on Jared's chest, and before Jared knew it, he was being shoved. He hit the passenger side door hard, as blinked his eyes open to look at Connor in shock. 

    "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Connor panted, wiping saliva from his chin.

    What? Connor was kissing Jared just as much as Jared was kissing Connor? 

    "You were just-" Jared began, sitting up and rubbing his head where it had hit the window. 

    "Just shut up! Okay, shut up!" Connor bit at his lip and rested his head on the steering wheel.

    Jared watched him for a second, unsure of what to do. 

    Gently, Jared reached out a hand and rubbed Connor's back, trying to at least comfort the boy. 

    "It's okay-" Jared started, but just as unexpectedly as he had been shoved, Connor's lips were joining his again. 

    Jared kissed back with all he had. He didn't even care if Connor pulled away again, as long as he got to kiss him right now. 

    And god, did it feel good.


	9. Pulsing

    Jared's vision somehow felt blurrier than usual, and his head hurt like all hell. The roaring in his ears was immense and constant, he almost couldn't tell if it was real or not. He sagged against his desk, watching the teacher drone on about the format for their essay. 

    The bell rang and left a buzzing noise in Jared's mind as he stumbled into the hallway. He'd never had a fever like this before, just walking to his locker took all the strength he could muster. He threw open his locker door and began to fumble through his stuff, when Connor came up from behind and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy. 

    "Hi baby." Connor kissed the back of Jared's neck, his lips felt ice cold against Jared's hot skin. Jared mumbled a response, rubbing his forehead as he snatched his chemistry book.

    "Not feeling good." Jared slammed the door shut and turned around to bury his face in Connor's chest.

    "Is it the same head ache you had yesterday?" Connor sighed, running a hand through the boy's hair. 

    "No, this one's bad." Jared groaned, he felt like he could hear everyone in the hall's individual voice shrieking inside his mind.

    "That's exactly what you said yesterday, and the day before, and last week." Connor teased, pressing a kiss to Jared's head and grabbing the boy's hand, leading him to their next class. "You're fine, you're always fine." Connor teased.

    Jared slumped into his seat between Connor and Evan, and banged his head on the table. Maybe that would sooth his writhing brain. Alana and Zoe sat in the desks in front of them, and turned around to see what the issue was.

    "Hey, as much as we appreciate you giving yourself a black eye, could be a bit quieter?" Zoe chuckled.

    "What's wrong with him?" Alana asked, sounding much more concerned than Zoe.

    "He has a head ache." Connor told her, almost mocking Jared in a way. Jared kept his head down.

    "Oh, like the one he had yesterday?" Alana asked, and Jared felt anger boil in his stomach. Couldn't anyone see he was in real pain? 

    "No, not like the one yesterday. This one is bad." Jared shut his eyes tight, the pulsing in his head was only getting worse by the minute.

    "Jared's just a big drama queen, he'll be over it by lunch. After all, it's pizza day." Connor snorted, giving his boyfriend a small nudge.

    With that, everyone turned their attention to the teacher, who was starting to hand out a worksheet. Jared finished it, though he wasn't sure if it was at all intelligible. His vision had blurred to the point that he couldn't read the board, even though he had his glasses on. 

    The bell rang and Jared did his best attempt to stand. However, the minute he let go of the chair, he dropped like a stone to the ground, clutching his head. There was a string of voices that he couldn't pick out and didn't even care to. He just needed the pain to go away.

    Someone helped him up, supporting Jared's weight and Jared managed to mutter a small thank you. Jared pressed his face into the person holding him to find it was his boyfriend, that smell was definitely Connor's. He may not be able to see Connor's face or hear his voice, but Jared could recognize his boyfriend's smell of smoke and sweat anywhere.

Jared relaxed, letting Connor carry him. He trusted Connor. Connor would make sure he was okay, he would.

With that, Jared let himself slip away into the pounding in his head.


	10. Missing in Action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War Mention!
> 
> Also, I have no clue what time period this is set in, so use your imagination.

    The minute Jared heard a knock on the door, his heart sank. He hadn't been expecting anyone. 

    Opening the door, he was met with the sight of an officer staring down at the envelope he held in his hand.

    "It's to my understanding that you're the spouse of Connor Murphy?" The Officer looked up, his eyes widening. He obviously hadn't expected Jared to be a boy.

    "Yes, I am. Why?" Jared demanded, inching forward. His knees already felt weak.

    "I regret to inform you that Connor Murphy has been reported Missing In Action." The Officer kept his face cold and unyielding, even as Jared snatched the envelope from him and began to tear it open.

    "No, no. You must be mistaken, I received a letter from him just a couple of days ago." Tears rolled down Jared's cheeks as he scanned the page. "This can't be possible!"

    "I'm sorry, sir." The Officer had taken off his hat. 

    "Sorry won't bring my Connor back!" Jared stormed inside and slammed the door behind him.

    Missing in Action basically meant Connor was dead and his body was missing. It was a cruel, harsh way of giving people hope.

    Jared threw the letter onto the coffee table and sat himself down on the couch. Looking down, he spotted the stain where Connor had dripped spaghetti when Jared was teaching him to use chopsticks.

This made Jared laugh through his sobs. His Connor always made him laugh, even now.

That night Jared slept on Connor’s side of the bed, which he had been saving for him when he got back. Taking a deep breath into the pillow, Jared could still smell Connor’s rich scent of smoke and sweat. 

“I miss you, baby.” Jared mumbled into the pillow before falling asleep.

Weeks passed, and Jared still hadn’t accepted that Connor wasn’t returning home. It was simply pushed from his mind as he continued to go about his daily life, even though there were serious things that needed to be taken care of. Should they have a funeral or wait? Did this mean that Jared would have to take up a job?

On a Sunday evening as he was washing the dishes, Jared heard another knock at the door. Slowly, Jared wiped the suds from his arms, he knew what this meant.

They had come to tell him his husband’s body had been found.

Unhurriedly, Jared made his way over to the door. He didn’t want confirmation that Connor was dead.

However, when he opened the door, dishrag still in hand, he was not met with the sight of the officer.

Connor.

Dropping the rag, Jared launched himself into Connor’s arms, hugging the boy tightly.

“Connor, where have you been!” Jared took a deep breath in, that was Connor smell alright.

“Hold on, hurry up and get me inside.” Connor slid into the house, slamming the door behind him.

“Are you okay? Why didn’t the officer tell me you were found?” Jared demanded.

“Because technically, I haven’t been found.” Connor stroller into the kitchen and poured himself a scotch.

“What?” Jared followed him.

“This war is a bunch of bullshit, I got drafted to fight for something I don’t believe in and they forced me to be away from you.” He took a swig of his drink. “I deserted my station.”

Jared went pale and quickly ran over to the window to shut the shades. “Connor, you could be hanged for that!” He hissed, his eyes wide.

“I know, which is why we need to run away.”


	11. Hanahaki!Connor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao more Hanahaki my bros, it was suggested and chosen by popular demand

   Damn it, it was happening again.

    All it took was a brush of Jared's elbow against Connor's and now he could feel the leaves creeping up his throat, dying to escape. Connor coughed awkwardly and tried to focus on his work.

    "Yo, what'd you get for number three?" Jared asked, already leaning over Connor's paper to look. Connor shut his eyes and tried not to puke blood and leaves into Jared's pretty brown hair.

    "Wait, how'd you get that?" Jared pointed to Connor's answer.

    "Uh, I used the quadratic formula." Connor had to scoot his chair back so Jared wasn't touching him. Blood filled his mouth as a thorn jabbed him in the throat.

    "We use the quadratic formula for this question?!" Jared moved his chair back over to his side of the desk and began to search through his notes.

    Connor swallowed the blood and hoped that it hadn't stained his teeth red. He hunched back over his work, though he wasn't too focused on it, not when Jared was right beside him. Not when his throat was filled with leaves. Not when he felt a flower plug his esophagus.

    He quickly scrambled up, not bothering to ask to use the bathroom as he ran out into the hall. He made a mad dash for the restroom and dashed into the stall, locking the door behind him.

    A single, once white, but now splattered with Connor's blood, tulip popped out of Connor's mouth and landed in his hands. 

    It was his first flower.

    Oh god, this did not mean good for Connor. It just meant he was getting sicker and sicker. 

    He lifted up the flower and began to study it. A tulip? Normally he'd see kids with bright red roses or royal purple lilies, even the once in a while pink camellia. 

    He dropped the flower into the toilet and flushed, then washed his hands free of blood.

    Once he was sure he looked presentable, he headed back to class and took his seat next to Jared, this time determined not to get sick again.

    "Mr. Murphy!" The teacher snapped at him, making Connor look up from the worksheet he had just started working on. "You leave this class nearly everyday, learn to use the bathroom during lunch!"

    "Yes, Ma'am." Connor sighed.

    "Yes, Ma'am." Jared mocked quietly next to him, giggling and nudging Connor with his elbow.

    "Shut up." Connor replied jokingly, though he did mean it. He didn't want to get sick again.

    "Limit your water intake and maybe you won't have to piss so much." Jared teased.

    "Whatever, Kleinman." Connor rolled his eyes.

    The bell rang and Jared walked alongside Connor to their next class, which Connor really wish he wouldn't. It only made things worse for him. 

    Jared told a joke and laughed.

     He laughed at his own joke.

    Connor couldn't not find that adorable. A rush of thorns pierced the inside of his throat and a flood of blood made its way up. Connor coughed, spilling the blood out of his mouth.

    It ran in rivets down his his chin and neck, soon soaking into his shirt. Some dripped off his chin and onto the floor of the hallway. He stopped, still coughing, as he tried to regain his breath.

    "Oh my god, Connor, are you okay?" Jared placed his hand on Connor's back, which only made it worse. 

    Connor kneeled over as a plethora of white tulips spilled from his mouth, landing in his pool of gore.

    He panted, but he felt relieved now, less swollen. It was short-lived, however, when he looked up at Jared, who had his gaze fixed on the flowers.

    "Connor, you have Hanahaki?" Jared asked, and Connor couldn't help but laugh at that.

    "No. Not at all." He said sarcastically, standing up and wiping his mouth. He hoped the flowers would be done with him for a while.

    "Is it... for me?" Jared removed his gaze from the flowers to stare up at Connor.

     Connor sighed, adverting his eyes as he gave a hesitant nod.

There was silence for a couple moments, but Connor didn't dare look at Jared. He was waiting for the rush of flowers and gore to come back, to remind him that he had absolutely no chance with Jared.

But, they didn't.

Connor flinched as Jared reached a hand up to wipe the blood on Connor's chin. 

"I didn't know you liked me." Jared said quietly.

"Well, I was painfully aware." Connor chuckled, his throat opening up. For the first time in months, he felt like he could breathe.

Jared's hand brushed along Connor's cheek, leaving bloody fingerprints. Jared leaned up and pressed their lips together.

Even though this was all Connor's been waiting for since he'd been introduced to the beautiful boy named Jared Kleinman, he still considered pulling away. His mouth still tasted of blood and, most likely, flower perfume. Jared kept a firm hold on the back of Connor's head, pressing hard against Connor's lips.

That was all he needed to decide to stay.


	12. Fuck Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao, I’m experiencing unwanted feelings, so have a one shot.
> 
> Also, exams are done!!

Fuck Feelings.

Fuck ‘em. Fuck ‘em. Fuck ‘em.

Jared had always thought that being in love was supposed to feel good, to make a person happier and calmer. Then again, he had never really loved someone until he met him.

Connor Murphy.

Fuck him.

Fuck him and his dumb, beautiful long hair and gappy, heaven-like smile.

Yeah, fuck you, Connor Murphy. Jared thought to himself as he stared at Connor from across the room. The boy was just sitting there doodling in his notebook, not paying attention to the teacher ramble on about Ancient Egypt.

Fuck him.

Connor smiled to himself as he completed a doodle, making Jared sag down in his chair.

Why. Why did Jared have to have feelings. They were gross and icky and left a pain in his chest. He hated feelings so much. He wanted to take an ice cream scoop and gouge his heart out of his chest. It would most definitely make him feel better right about now.

The bell rang and Jared sloppily grabbed his books, his feet dragging behind him as he walked. Connor brushed past him out the door, not even sparing a glance at Jared.

Jared got out into the hallway and watched the boy strut down the hall to his locker. He gulped and made his way past.

Jared walked behind Connor just as the boy pulled his book from his locker, causing Connor’s elbow to bump into Jared’s side. 

“Oh, sorry.” Connor mumbled, jerking his arm back and continuing what he was doing.

Jared gaped for a moment, stunned. “Oh, yeah, no problem, really.” He laughed, quickly dashing away.

Ugh, fuck feelings.


	13. Medieval Battle AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some pretty heavy angst here guys, beware

Jared had seen Connor fall down from across the battle field.

Immediately, he sheathed his sword into its holster and began to push his way through the crowd of people, each person slaying and slashing those from the other side. As he ran past one pair of battling enemies, he saw the girl wipe left with her sword and completely decapitate the boy. 

It didn’t help Jared’s panic about Connor.

As he reached the boy, Jared’s heart sunk. Connor lay on the ground, his hand clutched over a stomach wound as he rasped for breath. Unfocused eyes settled on Jared and Connor smiled, reaching his free hand out to him.

“Jare-“ Connor mumbled and Jared dropped to his knees, clutching Connor’s hand tightly. 

“It’s okay, Con, I’m here.” He smiled, already feeling tears well up in his eyes. It wasn’t time for that, it was time to help Connor. “We’re gonna get you to safety, alright? I just need you to take your hand away from your cut-“

Connor flinched as Jared lifted his hand off his stomach, pulled up the boy’s shirt, and began to examine the wound. 

Needless to say, it didn’t look good.

Not only was it gushing blood so fast that it had completely coated Connor’s stomach in minutes, but pieces of the dirty fabric from Connor’s clothing had gotten into the wound, meaning that if Connor survived the blood loss, the wound could easy be infected.

Jared bit his lip and got to work, desperately trying not to cry in front of Connor, who had taken to gently rubbing Jared’s leg.

“You’re gonna be fine, Con.” Jared squeaked, pressing his dry shirt against Connor’s wound. He grabbed his water canteen and unscrewed the lid.

“I know, but are you okay?” Connor said, oddly calm as he continued rubbing circles into Jared’s thigh.

“Of course!” However, it wasn’t very convincing as Jared had to say it through a strangled sob. He quickly wiped his face, smearing blood on it in the process, and poured the clean water onto the shirt so he could press it against Connor’s wound again.

Connor let out a small grunt and closed his eyes for a second. When he reopened his eyes, Connor gave Jared a reassuring smile.

“You’re fine, Jared.” Connor hummed, struggling to sit up.

“You need to lay back down, you’ll hurt yourself more!” Jared scooted forward and attempted to push Connor back down.

“No, I’m all good.” Connor said simply, throwing his arm over Jared’s shoulder for support. Tears began to streak down Jared’s face as he wrapped an arm around the boy’s waist, holding him up.

“You’re-you’re gonna have a sweet scar after this.” Jared said through hiccups. 

“I know, right?” Connor rested his head on Jared’s, it was getting too hard to hold up his body parts. “It’s shaped kinda like a J, for Jared.”

Jared gave a small laugh, which made all the tears on his face fall into his lap. “That way everyone will know you’re mine.”

“You know I love you, right?” Connor took in a shaky breath and Jared slowly felt the boy’s muscles begin to relax, one by one.

“I love you too, Connor, but you have to stay with me, not like this!” Jared panicked and tried to make Connor lift his head up.

“It’s fine Jared, I don’t hurt much anymore.” Connor rasped, taking one last deep breath of Jared’s hair. “It’s..like..I-“

Jared saw the boy’s eyes go blank and froze, all emotion draining from him for a second before he let out a loud, half-screaming sob.


End file.
